So was it David Booth? Who can recall when one hears so many things, but I'll attribute the quote to him anyway. He was a guest speaker at a seminar I was at and he, in passing I believe, said that people are afraid to share or let other teachers into their classroom because they are afraid of being discovered. They are afraid others will find out that they are a fraud. I knew almost immediately that this was me to some extent. I don't mind people walking into my class, but then, I pretty much stop teaching and interact with them. They don't observe and evaluate me.
My VP has been reading a book lately, it might be called "The Rounds". I'm not sure, but the idea is that a group of teachers act in the manner of a group of med students and collaborate and learn while visiting other teachers rooms. A selected few of us will be doing this. I think we will begin by visiting other schools, but I'm sure it will extend to the group of us visiting one another. And that has me a bit scared, but also excited. You see, like David said, I have this fear of being discovered as a fraud. I hope it is baseless, but then, how does one really know. I feel like I'm doing a good job. I don't have issues in class (well, not ones I can't deal with), the students are responsive and I see growth.. but am I doing things right. And what does that even mean? The vp has ordered 15 or so copies of the book, and it is our first 'book club' book for our PLC at our school. (An idea that I find very exciting by the way).
I have to say that I haven't thought about it much lately. In the beginning, you question your competency constantly and critically. Later on (and don't let me fool you, I've only been at this since 98 -- so I'm no seasoned pro) I think you begin to play it more by feel. You still question, and definitely refine ideas and try wild/crazy things, but you don't worry so much about being a fraud or a failure -- at least I didn't. But lately, a few people that haven't really seen me teach and don't really know much about me have been singing my praises to some other people. That is what has me thinking about it all over again. It is the fear of being able to live up to that praise or those expectations. I should be beyond this. I am not.
And of all the times for this to be happening, it is happening right when I am once again re-inventing the way I go about my daily interactions with my students. I'm trying to incorporate literacy strategies more heavily, I'm implementing ideas from books I've read based upon research into best practices (which I've been doing a lot more of for a few years now thankfully)... I'm changing from Socrates to Vince Lombardi -- but not just a coach, one with a thousand assistants doing tireless work. Twitter folks (especially those at #scido), their links, books (so many -- beginning with Randall Knight's Five Easy Lessons, and there is no clear end in sight) and chatting with colleagues have all proven to be vast and incredible resources.
OH! And I am close to having student work on my first (and second) mind maps. I am eager to see how it goes, and how I can use it to help them, and what kinks I will need to iron out. I'll post some results. Dina Saddy (literacy coach extraordinaire) at my school is encouraging me to adopt Mind Maps (since I seem to want to try them so much) and one or two other things into my repertoire for the year and see where they lead. Will do coach.
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